Break-Up Therapy a la Eyre

07 Feb

Remember back when…

Way, way back when for some of us…

Back when you were dumped.   Rejected.   Left for another.

I’m sure it’s happened to most of us at one time or another.   So, what did you do, fellow reader?   Did you hide your head under your pillow and weep for hours?   Did you write a letter (not to be sent) in which you lashed out at the offending party?  Did you plan revenge?   Did you avoid the offending party like the plague?   (Or, all of the above, perhaps?)

Let me know if you think this therapy sounds restorative:

1.  Dig down deep and find Reason.   Remember that you foolishly imagined things that never would have happened.

2.  Call yourself a “fool”, or better yet, a “stupid dupe.”  If that fails, try “blind puppy.”

3.  Look in the mirror and draw a faithful picture of yourself without softening one defect, smoothing out one wrinkle, or hiding one grey hair.   Underneath your picture, write:  “(Your Name), disconnected, poor and plain.”

4.  Then, draw a picture of the one who has taken your place.   Draw the loveliest face you can imagine and add in beautiful jewelry and clothing.  Label this one:   “(Her Name), accomplished lady of rank.”

5.  Congratulate yourself on your self-discipline.

There now!  Wouldn’t that just make you feel SO much better?   Why didn’t I think of this technique in high school or college?   I could have saved myself buckets of tears, several pillowcases and quite a bit of writer’s cramp.  Of course, being about the worst artist I know, this technique might not have worked very well for me.   Too bad.

(For all interested parties, read more on this technique in Jane Eyre, chapter XVI.)


Posted by on February 7, 2012 in Jane Eyre, The Blog



2 responses to “Break-Up Therapy a la Eyre

  1. Christina

    February 8, 2012 at 4:27 pm

    I too, always had a flair for the dramatic. This sort of focused restraint could have worked wonders for me. Sadly, I was so over-the-top that my break-up reactions were more similar to Jane’s behavior at the end of Chapter XXVII and throughout XXVIII.

    Wait. No. I was much more clingy.

  2. Jeannette

    February 8, 2012 at 5:53 pm

    🙂 I can empathize. Hence the post.


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