Part II chapter 6
Raskolnikov has returned to the scene of the crime. He lets himself in to Alyona Ivanovna’s room. The furniture is gone. The bloodstains on the floor have been scrubbed clean. The workmen wallpapering finally take notice of Rask and ask what he wants.
Instead of answering Raskolnikov went into the passage and pulled the bell. The same bell, the same cracked note. He rang it a second and a third time; he listened and remembered. The hideous and agonisingly fearful sensation he had felt then began to come back more and more vividly. He shuddered at every ring and it gave him more and more satisfaction.
Is this sort of like when I’m feeling blue and play the saddest songs I can find to make myself feel even more depressed? Maybe so, but then again, probably not because look at that last sentence of the quote: He shuddered at every ring and it gave him more and more satisfaction.
With himself for actually going through with his plan to kill the woman? and then killing her sister?
Is that what’s satisfying?
Oh, Rask. You need serious help.