UP of A

11 Sep

Do you remember our friend Amy?  She wrote that smart piece about Pride and Prejudice.  Maybe if we ask her nicely she’ll write us another one on Crime and Punishment.  I hear she and her college friends had lots of great conversation about Dostoevsky.

Here’s a little known fact about Amy.  I’m sure she won’t mind if I share it with you.  She’s known as Amy Pants.

Yes, Amy Pants.  Or maybe it’s Amypants, I’m not really sure of the spelling, but I’m relatively certain that it isn’t Amypantz.  She’s just not that kind of girl.

She got her endearing nickname from her propensity to wear multiple pairs of pants during the cold winter months.  Honestly, this is why I went to school in Texas, but Amy has chosen a school in Siberia.  Okay, fine, St. Petersburg.  Okay, fine, Michigan.  But I bet she would like Russia as much as she likes pants and Crime and Punishment.

Please don’t sell these.

Especially, because it appears that Amy would be right at home in Dostoevsky’s world.  Take that scene where Razumihkin has decided that it’s time to get Raskolnikov up, dressed, and presentable.  He does a bit of shopping for him, and where does he go:  The United Pants of America.

I am not making this up folks.  The United Pants of America.  Why hasn’t someone named a store after this obscure literary reference.  I mean, coffee has Moby-Dick, why can’t pants have Crime and Punishment?

Amy, when you graduate from college, you should consider this business venture.

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Posted by on September 11, 2012 in Crime and Punishment


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